Being Forced to be Good

I know it's been a while since I posted, forgive me. (Not sure if anyone even reads this thing but anyway....)

For those who don't know, I have seven boys. Ranging every two years from 12 down to 3 months. I realized the other day that my boys are only good when I force them to be good. I wonder if that is the nature of a boy? I don't know. Here is what I mean...

In the morning before school, they are not allowed to watch TV. That has been the rule since my 12-year-old was 5. We have never wavered from that rule. Early on, to "help" the situation. I programmed the cable box to block all shows from 5am until 9am so when they turn the TV on they can't get to anything. Thus, I was forcing them to be good by preventing them from disobeying.

When we got a new cable box, I didn't set the ban up and within a day they were down watching TV even though they knew they were not supposed to. I kept the ban off as an experiment and reminded them EVERY MORNING that they were not supposed to have the TV on. I did this for a week. Well the ban got put back on.

This week they had gotten some DVDs from the library. Well, all week I found them watching their DVDs!

This is just one of many things in the house. If I don't put in place forceful methods of making sure the children do the right thing, they won't do the right thing! Even my 12-year-old!

Just once, I would like them to do the right thing without being forced. But simply say to themselves (for instance), the rule is I don't eat outside the kitchen, I'm not going to eat on the couch.

Perhaps I'm asking too much. Who am I kidding, I'm raising boys!

A teen before he's a teen

My 9-year-old this morning did the unthinkable in my eyes.

He has always been the one who would do the minimum when he did his chores, he would try to skate by, when asked to do more work, he would complain of a headache or being tired. He avoids prayer with the family and he fights with his brothers.

This morning, however, my wife asked him to get a new paper towel roll from the garage because he was the only one with shoes on. He responded with "Why do I have to do everything!" and she told him to just do it. So, he huffed, put his coat on (which was unnecessary) got the roll, and when he came back he threw it at her and said "Here is your stupid paper towels!"

If I had not had 4 hours of sleep and been in bed at the time, I would have probably held him to the wall three feet off the ground and read him the riot act. Instead, Holly disciplined him, but she admitted she didn't go far enough, she wanted to leave it up to me.

He was in his room all day after school, I got home and laid into him. I think I put enough fear of God and me into him that it will be a while before he tries this again. I felt horrible for having yelled at him but I felt I was defending my wife's honor.

But interestingly enough, later that night as I helped him with his homework we were reading the Baltimore Catechism he is learning from. The second was on life everlasting and it said that in order to have life everlasting we must "die to self" and the explanation was to do something you don't want to do to please God and others. i.e. A sacrifice.

I found that the Lord really put this teaching here for a reason I was so amazed. I shared with him ways I sacrifice and ways I fail to die to self. We tried to come up with examples in his own life as well.

At bed time he hugged me and told me good night. It was great.