Thursday, September 26, 2013

My Vlog is dying

So, I started this vlog (Video Blog) a few weeks ago. It was mostly for family but I didn't mind if other people watched it too.

I started out with like 20 viewers on each video but the last few are 10, 9, 6. So, I guess I'm getting pretty boring. I already know my life is uninteresting, is that it? Should I just quit? My mom likes my vlogs! (of course)

If you want to check them out, see it here.

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Raining and Pouring

Just a quick note to enumerate the things we were hit with over the last few days. Funny how things can be going relatively well and then you get decimated.

  • My wife falls roller skating on Sunday. She needs an ambulance to get to the ER. Broken Forearm (both bones) and Cracked Tailbone. She has a massive knot on the back of her head but no concussion. Doctors estimate she'll be in a splint all summer. Pain may not go away for years.
  • Youngest of eight, our little girl, is sick with a fever. It's a bug that has slowly been going around the family. It's been a rough couple days with her.
  • My thirteen-year-old closed the door on my three-year-old's fingers causing massive deformation and swelling. We thought something was broken; spent another several hours in the ER Monday.
  • With my wife unable to do basic movements without pain, she is unable to do the things she does all day including taking children to the doctor, etc. (We have some help today for that.)
  • My 40th birthday is on Saturday, we were supposed to have a party. My wife insists we still will have it but we need to do massive amounts of cleaning before then. It sure looks bleak that we will get that done so that may not happen. Friends want us to postpone but with our busy lives, I don't imagine we could have it another time if we postponed. At least not for several months.
  • The way our insurance works, we pay out of pocket until we hit our $2,600 deductible. I am estimating that we probably hit that, however, that means I have to take money from our vacation fund to pay for it. We have been planning and saving to go to Washington, DC for three years. I am concerned we either won't make it or it will be severely cut short.
All in all, things could be worse they could always be worse. But living through it along with the lack of sleep of a sick child and wife. It's hard to see the light in this darkness that I'm in. Please pray for me, my wife (especially) and my family we most certainly need it.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Can IP Addresses "Go Bad"?

This is going to be a very technical post. So, I apologize to all the non-geeks out there. Feel free not to read this.

I'm having this problem at home and at work and it's driving me crazy. I don't know exactly what forums to post to because it affects Windows and Mac machines so it's not anything specific to one platform.

I'm referring to IPs that simply decide that it will no longer work. Here is the scenario...

I have a computer, server, device, whatever. This machine as been running fine for weeks, months, years. Then one day NOTHING, no speako. What am I talking about? Ping is one. Let's say I have three computers:

What will happen is that one day will no longer "talk" to but it will "talk" to .20. 20 can see both 5 and 10. And 10 can talk to 20, but not 5.

It is that strange. I could have 100 computers on the same network, same subnet. And one day computer A will no longer talk to 30 of those computers, but the other 70 will talk just fine.

It's not a firewall issue. If I were to change the IP address of .5 to .6, it will suddenly talk on the network. if I get a fourth computer and change its IP to .5, it won't be able to talk to .10 just like the other computer. It's specifically that IP address, nothing else.

Over time the IP address remains "blacklisted" weeks or months later it still will be unavailable. Restarting networking equipment doesn't fix it. Restarting the computer doesn't fix it. Flushing ARP tables doesn't help.

This is the strangest problem I have encountered ever. I don't know what to do.

Friday, January 18, 2013

My Own Tribute to Paul

I would like to say a few words about my best friend.  Paul Benjamin Anthony Deemer was born on the same day as my son Paul Michael John Paul Deliduka. July 26. But I didn't meet him until about 1999 when Holly and I moved to Columbus, Ohio and started going to mass at St. Patrick Church.

Erin went to Franciscan University like us but we didn't really know her. Holly recognized her so we struck up a conversation with them one day and we all became immediate friends. The Deemers were so inviting and friendly. We had countless afternoons and evenings, Sundays and Holidays together. At the time they had two children just like us. Two girls, we had two boys.

Paul and I would go out for beer and wings every chance we got. Paul set the limit, however, that he would never leave the house before the children were in bed; 8:30pm. Family was always first, #1, and I respected that. It was inspiring to me even then because I would have been like, "Honey, I'm going out, can you put the kids to bed?" But no, he always made sure he prayed with this children, gave them blessings and put them to bed before leaving the house.

Our Jonathan was born in 2001 and we asked the Deemers to be his God parents. Within a few months of that they moved away to Ann Arbor, Michigan but we vowed to keep in touch.

Paul and I both worked online and we chatted often on AOL Instant Messenger. One day he says to me. "Tom, Findlay, Ohio is about 1 1/2 hours from you and the same for me. What if we met there at a place called Fricker's and have beer and wings?"  I was all in. Of course, as you can imagine, we could not leave the house until the children were in bed, even then so we would leave and get to Fricker's at 10:00pm. We would stay there and talk, eat, and drink, and then head home about 1am. Sometimes it would be as late as 2 or 2:30am which would put us home about 4am. But it was worth it!

Paul was always a friend to me. He sought me out many times to get together when the time had been too far between visits. We would get on the phone shortly after leaving the house, talk all the way up, talk while we visited, and then talked all the way home.

Things in my life that Paul has inspired in me are so numerous. I would like to list them all but I will no doubt forget them.  My online name, "Tomnibus" was his idea. He said that I had so much information in my head that I was like a big Omnibus. So he called me Tomnibus.

Paul was an Actuary and Chief Financial Officer. I would go to him whenever I had financial questions  he has talked me into and out of many many things. I am so grateful for his knowledge.

Paul is the reason why I became the Director of IT at the Columbus Museum of Art. I was sitting in a cubical in 2006 as a consultant writing code when he e-mailed me to say he was named Vice-President of his insurance company. I thought to myself, "Wow, this guy is a year younger than me and already this successful, I have to do something with my life!" That very day I had a call from the Art Museum and I jumped all over it.

He helped paint my house for "work equity" so we could buy it. I helped him move a huge pile of dirt to his backyard. The wheel barrow in our garage was his that he left behind for me when they moved to Michigan. Erin and he introduced us to "Fiesta Chicken" that we had on the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

We were preparing to get together for a visit in Findlay one October evening when I received a text message from Paul. He was sick, throwing up, back pains. Thought he had a stomach bug. He had to cancel, "Maybe we can look into next week."  I was sad but okay, it wasn't be the first time we had to cancel. Over the next few days I didn't hear from him. I e-mailed him and he said he had to talk to me but wanted to call me and he would soon. I patiently waited. A few weeks went by and I tried again.  His e-mail back was simply, "Call me....". I called him and he went on to tell me how that night he got so sick, the next day Erin took him to the ER and there was something wrong. By the end of the weekend they had diagnosed him with Esophageal Cancer and not only that, it was in his lymph nodes and his liver; Stage 4.

I started to cry, he would have none of that. Over the next 16 months we talked, e-mailed, it became less over time. We did get to meet one time during his treatments. It was a good evening. After a bit it seemed he was in the clear. But then things got worse. I got an e-mail from him saying it was coming back faster. He said he wanted to see me but he would contact me.

A couple months went by, I asked him how he was doing, the e-mail back was: "Not good, we should talk." We never got to talk. Just before Christmas Holly had this feeling that things were going very badly. We contacted Erin, asked if we should be dropping everything to come up. She said, "Well, you shouldn't drop everything but we should plan a visit."

We set a date for December 29. When the time came, Holly was sick. We thought it best not to bring it to Paul. We set it for the next weekend, January 5. Holly was still sick. So we postponed another week to January 12. Late on the 10th Erin wrote me saying, "I think you should consider coming Friday. He is not doing well." So, we made arrangements with our family and drove up the next morning.

It was a perfect day for me. I got to talk to my best friend. I asked him if he was ready. He said, "yes". We shared a beer. It was wonderful and I thank God for that gift of just two hours with him.  We drove home and I learned the next day he had gotten worse, unable to speak or stay awake for very long. Sunday the Lord took him to Himself. At the time of his death, I was having beer and wings celebrating my son's 3rd birthday. How amazing is that?

Paul taught me the value of family and family life. Sadly, I don't know if I followed his example over the last few years but I am turning over a new leaf. Holly and I were inspired by his love for his family that we're going to strive to make major changes in our family. Spend more time with the children, put them first.  We're going to need some help, Paul, I'll be asking for your intercession.

I haven't read this whole thing over again so I apologize for any dis-jointed or rambling that I did. I feel that I wasn't able to explain everything this man has been do me. I don't think anyone will ever know. Paul is the kind of friend you find once in a lifetime. I am blessed to have had the time with him that I did.

Paul Benjamin Anthony Deemer ~Requiescat in Pace~

The following is Erin Deemer's public statement for her husband Paul...

In a recent homily our dear Fr. Bill was commenting on the parable Jesus told about His coming like a thief in the night. We will "know not the day nor the hour." However, he said, if we are faithful in prayer and trying to follow God in our lives, He will send us the help that we need.

A little over a year before Paul's cancer diagnosis he had the same dream three times, in which he felt himself looking down on a scene where myself and our children were visiting the site of his death- it was clear that we were going on without him. A great sorrow from those dreams kept coming back to him, and he grappled with what that might mean. It led him to take care of some practical things, just in case his family should be left without him someday.

Paul never spoke of those dreams to me, until he was admitted to the hospital on October 22, 2011. From that moment he had a sense that this was the event that God had given him gentle warning of. Although filled with great sorrow, he prayed with Christ in His Passion, "My heart is ready, O God; My heart is ready." Paul never stopped praying, along with all of us, for his recovery. He never stopped going through any treatment the doctors thought might help. In fact, the Wednesday before his death he could hardly walk, but he courageously made the heroic effort to get to the Karmanos Cancer Center in Detroit, in the hope that he might still qualify for the clinical trial they were setting him up for. When they had to turn him down, he very quickly began to deteriorate. He was very concerned that we know he was not giving up, just letting go. It was time- this was God's will. When we spoke of Venerable Fulton Sheen's prayers for him he simply said, "I think he wants to talk to me face to face."

We are so grateful for the prayers of so many people, and we are certain that those prayers granted us our first miracle, his initial amazing recovery- a whole year of wonderful time to spend with Paul- a last vacation and camping trip, last Birthdays, Anniversaries, Feast Days, baseball games, walks in the woods, bike rides...

Our second miracle is happening right now: the holiest and most blessed passing from this life that anyone could ask for. How many people are given the opportunity to do so much good through their suffering? How many people have so many people praying and offering the Holy Mass for them, literally all over the world, throughout their preparation for, and at the time of their death? How many people are able to receive the Sacrament of the Anointing of the sick that many times in their whole life?…I think I'm counting about twelve! Divine Mercy prayers and prayers for the dying with his family a whole week before his death…a good confession, Holy Viaticum...every blessing one could wish for in parting from this world. And that is the very goal of our lives, right? For "here we have no lasting city".

On Sunday, January 13, 2013 Paul received Holy Communion and the Anointing of the Sick from Fr. Bill Ashbaugh. Shortly after Paul's family arrived his breathing became labored and we tried all we could to make him comfortable and at peace. At 3 pm, even though he could barely speak, he called for me. When I let him know I was there he made the sign of the cross to the best of his ability and folded his hands. So I gathered the children in and we began the Divine Mercy prayers and prayers for those in their agony. Shortly thereafter Fr. Gerald Gawronski arrived and anointed him again, as his condition had worsened. He prayed for Paul and read aloud some of Paul's favorite Psalms. As he took his final breath I told him that I loved him; that Rose and Catherine and Anne loved him; that John Paul and Benedict and Fulton loved him; that baby Teresa loved him; that his parents and brothers and Grandmother loved him. Then he gave one final deep breath, and gave up his spirit to God. Moments later, Fr. Bill began the 6 pm Sunday Mass at St. Thomas, offered for Paul.

How Good God is. He has not missed one blessing for Paul and for us. I am sure He has not abandoned us now, but has great good for us. After all, He is Our Father.
God is Love.

Paul's Final Message

Shortly after his death, we found this in Paul's notebook...

"As we have come to the sunset of my earthly life, we gather for my Funeral Mass. I want to take a few moments to briefly reflect on the last 18 months of my life. As Shakespeare said, "When sorrow comes, it doesn't come in the form of one or two spies, but it comes as a whole battalion." This was definitely true for me. But as St. Paul said, in times such as these grace abounds all the more. I would like to thank the countless Catholic families who brought us meals over the past year. I would also like to thank the countless people who prayed for me, organized novenas, and had dozens of Masses said for me. I am truly humbled by the immediate and sustained outpouring of support from our local Catholic community.

In addition I would like to thank James Petcoff, owner of Conifer Insurance, for providing such staunch support for me from the moment I called him from my hospital room to let him know I was in deep trouble medically. That support allowed me to go through the past year without worrying about finance or insurance. Thank you Jim, you are a fine person who does the right thing even if not convenient.

I would also like to thank Dr. Philip Stella and the whole oncology group at St. Joseph Mercy who took such good care of me.

I would like to thank Fr. Gerald Gawronski, Fr. Bill Ashbaugh, and Fr. Dennis Brown for all of the spiritual guidance provided over the last year. The countless Masses celebrated in my house when I was ill, the many times of bringing me Holy Communion, and the countless hours spent discussing the spiritual aspects of what was happening to myself and my family all were tremendously helpful for navigating a time of great pain and sorrow.

And lastly, I thank you for coming to my funeral. Hopefully there is plenty of incense. My wish would be for it to look as though the fog had just rolled in. After all, incense symbolizes prayer rising to heaven. Please pray for me."

Born into this world:  July 26, 1974
Born again in Baptism:  April 2, 1994
Born into eternal life:  January 13, 2013

The Manly Life
by Henry Van Dyke

Four things a man must learn to do
If he would make his record true:
To think without confusion clearly;
To love his fellow-men sincerely;
To act from honest motives purely;
To trust in God and Heaven securely.

During his illness Paul had written this poem/prayer by Cardinal Newman in his notebook along with the penitential Psalms,
Scripture passages, and quotes from the Saints.  It signified for him the attitude he must have during the time of trial.

Lead Kindly Light
by J. H. Cardinal Newman

Lead, kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom, 
Lead Thou me on! 
The night is dark, and I am far from home—
Lead Thou me on! 
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see 
The distant scene—one step enough for me.
I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou 
Shouldst lead me on. 
I loved to choose and see my path; but now, 
Lead Thou me on! 
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears, 
Pride ruled my will: remember not past years.
So long Thy power hath blessed me, sure it still 
Will lead me on, 
O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till 
The night is gone; 
And with the morn those angel faces smile 
Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile.

When God takes someone from us, it is always for a good reason. 
When the sheep have grazed and thinned the grass in the lower regions, the shepherd will take a little lamb in his arms, carry it up the mountain where the grass is green, lay it down, and soon the other sheep will follow.  Every now and then Our Lord takes a lamb from the parched field of a family up to those Heavenly Green pastures, that the rest of the family may keep their eyes on their true home and follow through….

There will be a bright jewel of merit for those who suffer in this world.
Because we live in a world where position is determined economically,
we forget that in God’s world the royalty are those who do His Will…

Venerable Fulton J. Sheen