Some of you may know, if you are my friend on Facebook or on Twitter, that I went for a throat scope today. My condition is that I have a stricture in my esophagus (crimp, so to speak) that has been bad before, I had two scopes a few years back and has now gotten to the point where it is as small as one of those generic ibuprofen.
So, today I went in for a procedure to stretch it out. Having gone through this before I was extremely nervous because I remembered portions of it each time they did it. And after the second one the doc said he had given me triple the sedation dose to ensure I wouldn't remember, but I did anyway.
I was almost in tears as I was waiting for them to take me in. I told them of my anxiety and they told me they would ramp up the drugs quicker this time to ensure I wouldn't remember it. They rolled me in and put the drugs in my IV. I felt them working right away. What happened next was like a dream but since I know it wasn't, it hits home more.
They stuck three tubes down my throat, two small, then a larger one. I remember the whole thing with the nurse talking in my ear that I need to calm down, swallow, and breathe through my nose. I kept trying to tell her I can't breathe through my nose when there is a tube in my throat preventing my mouth from cutting off air. However, attempting to talk didn't work either and she told me to stop trying to anyway. I remember gagging the entire time, not just once or twice and then relaxing, when I woke up my voice was hoarse which only confirms it.
When the third tube went down, it was considerably bigger so I was guessing it was the camera. Shortly after that one went down I blacked out. I woke up immediately with my wife next to me and I said, "oh, it's done!" then, like in the Matrix or Chuck or something all these memories of what happened flooded my brain.
The interesting thing is that I wasn't traumatized like I was in the past. While what happened was traumatic, I don't feel as though it was unbearable. Perhaps when I have to go in for my second one I won't be so nervous. And that's what's going to happen. The doctor came in, he said it was very closed, he could only stretch it to about 11mm (although the paperwork says 9). He's going to have me back again mid June for my second scope. He probably will have to do it three times.
I'm doing pretty well right now considering I haven't eaten since 11:30pm last night. I would like to have something but I can't have solids until this evening (and I doubt I will then). I have some gatorade next to me to give me "electrolytes" but I'm not really drinking because it hurts too bad to swallow.
They didn't send me home with any medicine even after I asked them several times if they would. They said take liquid Advil if I'm in pain but just swallowing water or gatorade causes me so much pain, something that clings to my throat like liquid advil would hurt worse. So, I'm pushing through the pain. Perhaps this evening I can have some carnation instant breakfast or something. :-)
Thank you all for your prayers, I was very very scared to do this again. I am convinced that your prayers helped me get through it and even though there was trauma, I don't perceive it that way due to the Lord's miraculous help. I expect to be back to work tomorrow. Although probably still eating soft foods.